Designing Your Family’s Culture

I was so inspired by the stories I heard from the nearly 40 women who attended my workshops at URJ Camp Newman's first Women's Weekend.

These women of all ages were eager to find a better way for their families to communicate, gather, support each other, and celebrate when they live far apart.

My workshop -- "The Family You Want to Be: Creating your Family's Diaspora Culture" was inspired by my own three kids who suprised me for my birthday last September by taking an exercise I use with clients to create a shared vision - and adapting it to lead our own family culture session, with amazing results!

What makes this approach different from most empty nested or dispersed families?

1. Intentionality - just naming what you want your family life to be like (and not like) and how you'll commit to get there, is a huge mindset shift.

2. Co-creation - everyone in the family has a say and must agree; everyone owns the vision and the plan. It's not all on one person's shoulders to keep it going.

3. Sustainability - be creative and flexible, change what's not working and keep coming back to your plan to meet everyone where they are as they evolve.

Every family is different, with unique individuals and challenges, and in both workshops we talked about how to adapt this approach when you have skeptics or family dynamics that get in the way of authentic participation.

For example:
1. Get initial answers to the three questions in writing, anonymously, then meet to discuss.
2. Find one ally in your family who's bought in, and have them lead the conversation instead of you.
3. Start by focusing on fun, creative tactics for connecting as a family, then come back to the heavy-duty questions about vision when you feel like people are ready.